"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." (Harry S. Truman)

Once upon a time, planning was the hardest part of homeschooling.  Then I had three girls at home all at the same time.  Girls are emotional.

I am not perfect and have never claimed to be.  I wish my children could grasp that.  I do know more about "things in general" than my kids, which is why I'm the teacher, most of the time.  (They do teach me, and I delight in that there are plenty of things they know more about than I do.)  My philosophy for homeschooling is that I prefer to take the role of "guide" than "teacher".  I believe children have an innate ability and desire to learn.  Unfortunately for me, the desire is undeniably tainted and the ambition has been strangled in an emotionally-charged student.  How does one fix the embedded misconception that learning is not cool?  That being smart is lame? That adults should always have every answer?  That when you learn something rather than already know it, you're dumb?  (I STILL learn something new everyday!) These misconceptions make for a long day of eye-rolling, loud sighs, stomping, whining, arguing and an overall crappy attitude. Add those days together, and this mama wants to hide in my bedroom every weekend.

I am genuinely conscious of the way I verbalize lessons, specifically being careful not to promote self-doubt, low self-esteem, etc.  I do not, however, sugar-coat.  It's simply not in my nature.  If I started doing so, my children would suspect I am up to something.  So, when I encourage my children to choose their own vocabulary words for self-exploration, here's how the process works in my head: They pick words to look up for definition.  When I review their written understanding of those words, we discuss them and I give examples to ensure they have an appropriate grasp of the word's meaning, that they can properly use the word in a sentence.  (That is the point of vocabulary words, is it not?)  Sometimes I look them up myself because I do not know everything. Seems simple enough, right? Ha! Picture this reality: pick the vocabulary words; copy the definition verbatim from the dictionary (despite countless reminders that copying is unacceptable and one learns nothing through that); moan at the request to provide sentences since the definitions weren't given any individual thought; whine, roll eyes and blink back tears while Mom tries carefully to help understand words incorrectly used (and clearly not understood); make no attempt to understand and be as non-creative as possible with new sentences (more specifically, use Mom's examples by changing one word).  Somewhere along this particular educational journey, the notion of "learning is cool" was replaced by the horrible misconception that "if I don't already know it, I'm stupid," that when mixed with pubescent know-it-all attitude is a force to be reckoned with.

Winston Churchill said, "I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught."  I could take comfort in that if the "always ready to learn" part was present.  I have tried refreshing that ambition and desire, sometimes catching glimpses of the spark I saw in her at age 5, but still here I sit. I will keep trying because I am committed to it, and I will hope that gratitude might one day replace attitude.